Home > Satire > Ed Hochuli reportedly ‘perturbed’ at latest referee meeting

Ed Hochuli reportedly ‘perturbed’ at latest referee meeting

NEW YORK (AP) – A few unnamed sources have confirmed that referee Ed Hochuli was noticeably peeved at the latest referee’s conference last week in New York. One source who wishes to be unnamed stated, “I don’t know what happened. We were going through the rules about late hits. Soon after, they announced that they would no longer carry our uniforms in small. All of a sudden he threw a hissy fit in front of everyone at the meetings. Not sure what his problem was. Maybe he’s worried about the economy affecting his 401k and sees this as another cost-cutting move. But the thing I don’t get is I wear a medium and Ed is much bigger than me. I am pretty sure a large would fit him fine. ”

Another unnamed referee reportedly said, “I’ve never seen Ed this angry, unless there was that time when the NFL required us to wear long-sleeves during the winter. It was annoying because Ed would insist on going out there with the short-sleeves while the rest of us were freezing our asses off. Remember that snow game between in New England? Ed wouldn’t borrow my Under Armour saying it was ‘too warm’ outside.”

Reporters who have tried to reach out to Mr. Hochuli over this incident have reportedly been turned back and can now only communicate with him through his lawyer. Rumors abound he walks around with a long-sleeve turtleneck and that he is deeply concerned about the recent troubles NBA star Gilbert Arenas has undergone for “brandishing firearms in a sports arena.”

Ed Hochuli
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  1. J.Jin
    February 4, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    I should remind you that on December 15, 1791, the United States of America adopted the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution that talks about an individuals right to bear arms. Why are you giving him such a hard time about it? ;P

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